This will probably be a short post, because there's really only one secret to getting to experiment with your partner and try out all/some of that weird stuff you saw on the internet or heard from your friend (who's probably lying because no one can bend that way). Brace yourselves, because this is one wild secret:
You and your partner need to feel comfortable and safe.
WHOA!
NO WAY!
yes way.
Ladies and gents, if both people are safe and comfortable, they'll feel much better about opening up about their fantasies, exploring some new territory and indulging in a few naughty niceties. Even better, they'll probably be able to figure out if they, in fact, enjoy it. The reason being safe and comfortable is so important is for the simple knowledge that if person A says "stop", they know that person B will stop. There are some sexual acts out there that can hurt and if you're with a partner you can't trust, it would be very nerve wracking to put yourself in a position of vulnerability.
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| Nicki Minaj playing out Rat Race |
If you're safe and comfortable, you can say "no" without fear of retribution. Say your partner was talking about their fantasy and said "We're both wearing sailor hats. Then we get into a jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, I clip your toenails, and you shave my buttocks." As lovely as that experience sounds, it's not for everyone. If you both trust one another, they can share this rose-colored fantasy and you can say no, and there's no harm done.
Conversely, if you are screaming "Yes! This sounds ideal!", then have at it. Indulge in your kinkiness and feel good about it. I'm not saying that you need to be in a relationship to achieve this zone; in fact I think that if there's some mutual respect you can accomplish it with relative ease whether you've known each other for a year or a day (or an hour). All I'm saying is that intimidation, shame, guilt, manipulation, power or force are not the ways to accomplish trying something new.
SAFE AND COMFORTABLE!
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