Unorganized but Heartfelt!

A friend of mine found this gif the other day and thought of me. Should I be flattered or insulted? I vote flattered. I feel this way a good 80% of the time.
http://i.imgur.com/jRPEz4w.gif

I volunteer on the Sexual Assault Crisis Hotline with the Newfoundland Sexual Assault Crisis and Prevention Centre, and after next weekend I'll have completed the training to work on the Sexual Assault Response Team in Saint John. I also run a leadership project for young women called Engaging Girls & Young Women in Leadership Roles, out of the Saint John Volunteer Centre. As a part of my psychology degree I researched domestic violence, rape culture and victim blaming. Needless to say, a lot of my life is taken up by thoughts on what the hell is going on out there in the world, and why. It's the "why" of it all that I can't answer. Every newspaper can give you the details on the "what" of a sexual assault, but when we try and figure out why four boys would gang rape an unconscious girl at a party, a lot of the time we're coming up with blanks.

Take this article for example: http://www.brandonsun.com/breaking-news/rape-victim-inviting-so-no-jail--rape-victim-inviting-so-no-jail-116801578.html?viewAllComments=y, where a judge gives the rapist no jail time because "sex was in the air" and he was just a "clumsy Don Juan". I can't understand how a judge (or anyone) can lay blame on the victim. They talk about her lack of bra that evening (I never realized that was asking to be assaulted; ladies, take note) and about her implying skinny dipping (again, if you're naked you must want sex, so keep your vagina at home when you go out), while the rapist's actions are deemed "inconsiderate behaviour". How good of the judge to note that it is inconsiderate to have sex with someone without consent. If you don't see what's wrong with this article, I would encourage you to do some research and figure out why this type of victim blaming is adding to what we feminists like to call rape culture (something I will definitely be blogging about).

A fluffy puppy to accompany this not-so-fluffy topic

Just some facts, so that we're all on the same page. According to this government document: http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85f0033m/85f0033m2008019-eng.pdf, 

• 82% of victims (or survivors) knew their attackers. READ: This means that the guy you sort of know who is offering to walk you home may be your rapist and the man in the park alone may not be. 
• Most sexual attacks occur in the victim's home. READ: This means that you may be safer sleeping at a bus stop than sleeping in your home with your husband, boyfriend, brother, or father. After all, if most assaults occur in the home, and most attackers are people that you know...
• 93% of sexual assaults result in no physical injury. READ: This means that you can be sexually assaulted without being beaten, and in fact it is incredibly likely to be the case. Women actually have instincts that can kick in during sexual assault to prevent themselves from further injury, like freezing. And no, I do not mean that “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down" - Todd Akin, on whether or not rape victims can be impregnated by their rapists. He's a classy guy.

I am NOT condoning walking alone at night down a dark alley. That being said, I'm not crapping on it either. I've always thought that women should be allowed to walk down the street naked and completely hammered and the worst thing that would happen to them is an arrest for disturbing the peace or indecent exposure or whatever. They are NOT asking to be assaulted. I also think this applies to men, but if any of you know my brothers than you know they fully exercise this right more often that a sister would hope.

I'm trying to show you all (whoever you may be) that this ideal victim our society has created is not realistic. Victims of sexual assault are not just sober virgins attacked by strangers. Victims of sexual assault are married to their aggressors and sleeping in fear every night. They are blackout drunk girls being assaulted behind closed doors at parties. They are nieces terrified to spend another weekend with their uncle. And yes, they are also sober virgins attacked by strangers. If you find yourself sitting in a room with 5 women, please realize that at least one woman present has been sexually assaulted. It does not happen to other women, in other provinces, to other families, in other schools. There is no OTHER. There is OUR. Our women, our provinces, our families, our schools. Please, remember.
http://gifs-for-the-masses.tumblr.com/post/22337268049