Feminist Bride

Since getting engaged in the summer of 2014, I've been positively humbled by the amount of love that has been expressed for my fiancé and I. From squeals of delight over my ring (it's a great ring) and bridal showers to beautiful messages of happiness and promises to travel from all over the world for the big day. These sentiments have been the definite majority.

A sizeable minority, however, seem to have slipped into some archaic, revolting, baseless stereotypes.

 
 
Here's some crap I've heard:
"How'd you trick him into proposing?"
"So when are you due?"
"Are you going to try to lose weight for the wedding?"
"Better start training to be a wife"

And here are some of the lovely comments my fiancé has gotten:
"There's still time to run!"
"How'd she manage to pull that off?"
"Getting a ball and chain now eh?"
"Your life is over"
"Hope she can cook!"

Some of those were made in jest, and I've been told (just love being "told" how to act) to excuse that kind of behaviour. You know what? Those jokes aren't funny. I have a right to be appalled by those jokes. I have a right to be disgusted by people diminishing the very real, solid commitment my partner and I will be making to one another.

My partner proposed to me. It was beautiful and perfect and wonderful (and all sorts of other lovely adjectives) but it was not forced. He loves me, so he asked me to marry him. Why would anyone ever call that into question? We are equals in this relationship. We both made an intellectual, rational and emotional decision to spend our lives together. You can take those stupid and, frankly, mundane jokes and go to hell.

I deserve better. So do the other brilliant brides you encounter.

Also, he's the cook!

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Commonly mistaken for a bridezilla, this is actually a mother-of-the-bride-asaurus

I wrote the above before I got married but never got around to posting it. As I'm sure you can tell I was full of piss and vinegar. I was just raging that while I was about to celebrate a pretty important day, such hateful, ignorant comments were intruding my bubble of happiness.

I'm on the other side of the wedding now, and reflecting back on the words that I wrote, I think I'M A DAMN GENIUS. I stand by it all. I love that fiery, intense part of my soul that bursts out onto the page. I embrace that part of myself because from it I find passion, determination and a backbone made of Valyrian steel (shout out to my fellow GOT fans).

....what?

ps: Winter is Coming