Touch Yourself!

I remember when I was going into grade 6, a group of girls explained to me what female masturbation was. It took me a while to figure out that it probably wasn't putting a candlestick up yourself...

This is streaking, fyi

Boys come out of the womb playing with themselves and they don't stop from that day until the day they die, possibly even dying during sexy times. We almost never shame boys for this (sometimes I wonder if maybe we should shame them juuuuust a little bit so they're not so comfortable they'll just casually sit with their hands down their pants). But when it comes to our little girls, it's just not discussed. Girls' hands are pulled away from their own body parts when they're taking baths or getting dressed. When little girls make that embarrassing comment in front of their parents' friends "it feels good when I touch myself here (point to crotch)!", it's a horrifying moment. When a little boy runs around naked and proud, he's just a boy being a boy (I could argue that this also applies to full grown men (you know who you are)). But here's a crazy news flash: it's just as okay for girls to masturbate as it is for boys to masturbate!

Ladies: y'all need to touch yourselves. It's so important I could probably dedicate a full blog to it, but I'll just stick to one post (FOR NOW).

If this chick can do it, so can you! (put your pets on the floor)

 

How are we going to have a great sexual experience with another guy or girl if we can't figure out what makes our own body respond? How can you expect your partner to give you an orgasm before you've given yourself one? There's a certain amount of empowerment that comes from knowing you can get there all on your own. Trust me when I say that there is no way on earth you will ever ever ever give a boy his first orgasm. It is just not in the cards. He's practically a pro at getting himself off by the time he gets to the big leagues, while girls haven't even learned to...hold a bat? Well that metaphor didn't work out. What I'm saying is, you need to get off by yourself. Don't let the first person to touch your vagina be someone else!

There's an episode of Sex And The City where Charlotte sort of admits that she's not really into masturbation. I think at this point the rest of the gals buy her a vibrator and tell her to go to town (which she does, to the point of addiction). Charlotte basically typifies a big group of women who seem to be kind of afraid of their own lady parts, whether it's touching them or looking at them or whatever. She associates it with shame and sluttiness, like it's not something that a proper lady should be doing. That is just silly. It's just not true. It is totally a-okay to have a full-blown, down-and-dirty, sweaty-sheets romance with your own bad self. 

Charlotte has another episode where she admits she's never looked at her own vagina. Isn't that a little weird? Don't boys stand in front of full-length mirrors completely naked and swing it around (paint the fence, helicopter, etc.)? Women are allowed to open their legs for sex, but not for self-exploration? Come on now, of course not! In fact, in a perfect world, self-exploration would always come before sexy times with another person. Look at yourself, it's honestly not a scary thing...there's not a monster down there or something (typically). The worst part is that in pornography and in the media we only see one kind of vagina and chances are yours is a little different. READ: different does not mean less beautiful, less erotic, or less doable. There are very few guys out there who, upon seeing a woman fully naked, thinks "hmm nah that labia is a bit darker than my preference' and peaces out. You probably have a great vagina and props to you for it. Check her out, flirt with her a little. She is all yours.