Sexist Feminist?

On my previous post, I let the world (lol jk the people who read this blog) know about the Empowerment All-Nighter, the event I created for women ages 17-25 in Saint John. It's going to be a blasty blast with games, zumba, self-defense, hair & makeup, a photo booth, yoga, games, food etc. I am pretty pumped about it, even though getting women ages 17-25 involved in something is extremely difficult sometimes...

So anyways, I posted this event, was interviewed on the radio, spread the info on Facebook, via Twitter and email, talked in schools, and offered my kidney to strangers to get people involved. Well. The other day someone called me sexist for making the event for women only.

I would like to clarify something.

The most at-risk group to be sexually assaulted is women ages 18-24, who make up the vast majority of both reported and unreported cases. This statistic determined who would be invited to our event. For good measure, we expanded the age range by a year both ways, for those entering the danger zone, and those exiting. If it were men ages 35-45, we would have catered our event to that age group, so it probably would have involved hockey or golf or some other male stereotypes (kidding). But since that group are far more likely to be the aggressors of sexual assault, we figured that they could survive not coming to an event that was designed to create a safe space for women to talk about rape culture and sexual assault.

I am not trying to put women above men. I am not trying to exclude people. That would make me a hypocrite. I am trying to create a space where women can talk about the weight that they carry on their shoulders just because they are women. The judgments, pressures, insecurities, impossible ideals and fears. I don't think that my intentions or actions are malicious towards men. No one has called me an ageist for restricting the event to 17-25 year olds. I guess I'm just shocked that someone would try and pick a fight rather than ask a question. 

I think what I'm getting at is that when you're about to call someone sexist, racist, ageist, homophobic, etc. especially when it's the reverse of the typical sexism, racism, etc. that takes place, find out what their intentions are. I am not a sexist (or any of those other things...). I am just trying to wake Saint John up to the fact that we have the highest rate of sexual assault in Canada. The only reason we're not hosting an event for men alongside this one is time and budget constraints, because that's life. We had to prioritize, and we went with women. When we were in Saint John High School last week doing our education piece, it was open to both boys and girls, and both boys and girls attended. If my project somehow gets more funding or support, the women I work with are incredibly enthusiastic about doing something catered towards young men. 

So please, do not think I don't care about what rape culture does to men. Rape culture encourages women to end up as prey, and it encourages men to end up as predators - neither situation is healthy! I don't fight rape culture just for women! I can't say it enough. I'm fighting against ignorance, stereotypes, violence, hatred. That means I'm fighting for women AND men. Just because I'm running a women-only program does not mean that I hate men.

STOP CALLING ME SEXIST!